This will be the fourth episode, and it’s the most heartfelt and the closest to my heart. For those of you who don’t know what my podcast is about, it’s a bedtime story for adults. And the difference between this and other bedtime story podcasts is that Lavender Night is truly like listening to a wise friend talking about life lessons and overcoming obstacles. So it’s not a fairy tale or imaginary story—rather, it’s a journey through someone’s experience.
This is the second episode that I wrote myself. The first two were written by a great writer from Canada, Michael C. Lockett, and he actually helped me a lot so the idea of Lavender Night could become real. In the first two episodes, I basically communicated my ideas with Michael, and he portrayed them so well—he created a new journey and atmosphere that changed the way I was approaching the stories. But when it comes to expressing what’s in your heart, and the message you want to spread, it’s a must to write the story yourself. Because when I say I wrote the story, then it’s my story. I have to say exactly how I feel, and how the journey was.
I don’t wanna say that it was not easy and all that kind of stuff, but it was overwhelming. The reason for that is, at every step, I had to make sure I wasn’t creating something that would ruin the entire reason for making the episode. And the important thing is, this is a really vulnerable part of my life—I don’t know how much I can even express it. I had to make sure to deliver a really sad and melancholic experience in a way that people want to listen. And then, show how that struggle changed everything. Because the main goal of the pod is: you listen to a specific episode that deals with a struggle or issue you’re facing, and you hear a wise friend telling you that you’re not alone—and you can face it.
How It Started
Before I came up with the title of the story or even what I wanted to write about, I just had a strong feeling. I’m really passionate about how every moment in life is kind of a canvas on its own—how strange and kind of beautiful it is that a simple dinner with your loved ones becomes a precious memory years later.
One day, I went to my grandma’s home. It’s a classic house built in the 1950s, sitting in a completely busy area, surrounded by modern concrete buildings—but it feels like a small corner of the world that still brings you back to the old days. I immediately told my sister, this house has to be part of Lavender Night. So I captured a few photos of the outside and the porch.
Writing the Story
I was reading Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl, a great book about how someone finds meaning in life—and what helps them achieve that. I came up with the idea of writing about answering the question: Is it worth it?
So I started writing about my own experience during the time I faced severe depression and had a plan to end everything. The reason I didn’t go through with it—and instead sought professional help—was that I felt my work had meaning. I believed I could help people, especially through teaching and contributing to the tech and open-source world.
I didn’t even know about the three ways Viktor Frankl describes for finding meaning in life. But I ended up incorporating all three into the story. And let me tell you—finishing the story was one of my proudest moments. Most of the time, you have a cool idea, but once you start working on it, it doesn’t turn out the way you imagined. But this story? It came out exactly the way I wanted.
The Story Flow
The story begins with the character (which is me) inviting you to sit on an old wooden bench on my grandma’s porch, describing the atmosphere and the surroundings, and then sharing the experience.
I dedicated a small part of the story to melancholy and sadness, trying to talk about depression, why we feel so lost, and how we can find meaning. The episode is rich with beautiful quotes, poems, and real experiences. You’ll hear words by Viktor Frankl, Ella Wheeler Wilcox, Friedrich Nietzsche, Rainer Maria Rilke, and more.
Production
Like all the other episodes, I produced this one too. The way I produce every Lavender Night episode starts with collecting every single sound effect that should be in the story. If the character mentions the melodic sound of birds, then I need to find the best bird sound out there.
This was my first time using Epidemic Sound for both music and sound effects. I also spent a few days trying really hard to find the perfect voice-over actor—someone who could deliver the story exactly the way I imagined it in my head.
That’s when I found CJ Brown, an amazing voice-over actor from Canada. He kindly agreed to work on the project—and WOW, he absolutely crushed the episode. His narration alone, even without music or sound, was a piece of art. That’s when I knew the rest of the production would fall into place beautifully.
After that, I searched for music that not only fit the story but also blended well with CJ’s voice. I produced the episode in my favorite DAW, Studio One 6. I also did the mixing and mastering myself—and I loved how it turned out.
The Illustration
As usual, the story was brought to life by Uran Duo, the amazing husband-and-wife artist team from China. I described the idea, the story, and shared the photos I had taken of my grandma’s home—and WOW.
The way they illustrated the story and the house was beyond anything I had imagined. I was speechless and emotional at the same time. They didn’t just portray the porch and the house—they captured the character and the soul of the story.
If you read the entire post, I want to thank you with all my heart. The episode is out now—and you can enjoy it.
That’s it for today. Bye for now. 🌙
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